But I couldn't give up on McSweeney's after only one rejection. In my heart I was sure that it was secretly a good online humor site, even though my friends kind of thought it was an asshole, and that, with my constant, slavish love and devotion, McSweeney's would eventually realize that it was ready for a more mature and serious list. So I sent this.
Thoughts I Had While Watching the “The Young Riders”*
Season One DVD Collection**
1. Man, those riders are young.
2. And you don’t see riding like that every day.
3. The Young Riders are just like the Young Guns,
2. And you don’t see riding like that every day.
3. The Young Riders are just like the Young Guns,
but with more riding.
4. Shit, they’re riding again.
You will not be surprised to learn it was rejected.
*Not being a 12 year old girl, you are probably unfamiliar with the train wreck of a series that was The Young Riders. Let me just say this: it has a Baldwin in it who is not Alec.
**I know, I know - it was a pathetic attempt. I am brought low by it. I deserve rejection. I am not worthy of McSweeney's affection. I am worthless.
3 comments:
On the plus side, Paul All the Time has become must-read web material.
Now, all you need to do is open some kind of pirate supply shop, then you can tell that bastard Eggers to just fuck off.
Or I can finish writing my memoir, "A Spleen-Rending Opus of Monumental Smartitude," and let Harper and Penguin fight for who gets to give me $750K advance.
A. I hope you are kidding about that smug fuck Eggers getting $750k.
B. I checked out a few McSweeney's lists...they are so fucking horrible.
WE should create the Ultimate List.
And then submit it.
And if they reject it?
Burn them.
For their own good.
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