Memoir

Donald Rumsfeld has titled his new memoir Known and Unknown, which hearkens back to this piece of wisdom that he shared during a DOD briefing on February 12, 2002.

"As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know."

If this sounds familiar, it's because the quote was selected by Hart Seeley as part of his collection, Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld. Perhaps you remember Slate's coverage of the story.

In other words, Rumsfeld named his memoir to commemorate a moment in his life which resulted in his being roundly mocked internationally in print and on TV. This has inspired me to come up with a list of potential titles for my memoir.

Zipped and Unzipped

If I'd Known You Were Native American I Wouldn't Have Sung That Song

It's Not Funny

Stop Laughing

I Mean It, Guys

You Told Him I Said That?!

That Time I Farted

G.I.L.F.

McCain finally announced his choice for running mate today, and it is, as I hoped, Sarah Palin,

The Prettiest Governor Ever!!!

Sigh. She's a sparkly princess. I want her to brush my hair.

Still, the Senator from Arizona's plan to secure my vote by choosing one of the ladies from Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher" video as his veep has failed.* I want to be perfectly clear about one thing. No party will ever get my support until they finally put forth a candidate from the demographic most dear to my heart: hot teenage boys.

*She's pretty, white and has a vagina. Hey, me too! It's a no-brainer!