Thursday, January 24, 2013

Monday, December 3, 2012


Look, everybody! Damien Hirst, stuck technicolor pills all over a $50,000 backpack. We must all agree that he totally arted the shit out of that bag.

Still, I miss his older, edgier works. Like that shark stuffed full of used tampons or whatever the fuck it was.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Friday, June 3, 2011

Guess Who, Mother F*cker.

You love to play Guess Who? and you also love early 80's California punk, but you are pretty sure that Milton Bradley wouldn't know hardcore if it flexed its beefy neck and screamed in his general direction? Now you can have the best of both worlds.

Chart via WFMU

Here’s a transcript of a round I played with a friend.

Me: Do you have hair?
Friend: Yes. Do you have a hat?
Me: No. Is your hair black?
Friend: Yes. Are you a man?
Me: Yes. Do you enjoy free weights and listening to the Stooges?
Friend: No. Is your hair straight?
Me: Yes. Are you Bill Stevenson, drummer for Black Flag in 1983 and founding member of The Descendants?
Friend: Yes. You win.

Thursday, February 10, 2011


Donald Rumsfeld has titled his new memoir Known and Unknown, which hearkens back to this piece of wisdom that he shared during a DOD briefing on February 12, 2002.

"As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know."

If this sounds familiar, it's because the quote was selected by Hart Seeley as part of his collection, Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld. Perhaps you remember Slate's coverage of the story.

In other words, Rumsfeld named his memoir to commemorate a moment in his life which resulted in his being roundly mocked internationally in print and on TV. This has inspired me to come up with a list of potential titles for my memoir.

Zipped and Unzipped
If I'd Known You Were Native American I Wouldn't Have Sung That Song
It's Not Funny
Stop Laughing
I Mean It, Guys
You Told Him I Said That?!
That Time I Farted

McSweeney's Can Not Suck It. No, wait, I was wrong. They Can Still Suck It

Another list, another rejection. I hate myself and I want to die.

Why We Don't Do It In the Road

I have a headache