Gawker reports today that a writer named Jordan Scott has accused Stephanie Meyer's of plagiarizing matrimonial and sex scenes in Breaking Dawn from her own vampire novel, The Nocturne. After reading the evidence provided, I have come to realize that I, too, am one of Meyer's victims. Check out these suspicious similarities between excerpts of Twilight and my high school journal. The evidence speaks for itself.
Twilight
I felt a surge of pity, and relief. Pity because, as beautiful as they were, they were outsiders, clearly not accepted. Relief that I wasn’t the only newcomer here, and certainly not the most interesting by any standard.
My Journal
I saw Calvin Kole* at lunch today. He is sooo hottt! Too bad he doesn’t know I’m alive. I hate Tammy Godfrey with the power of a thousand flaming suns, and the rest of her cheerleader bitch friends.
Sigh.
__________
Twilight
I’d noticed that his eyes were black – coal black.
My Journal
Calvin Kole's eyes are blue – ice blue. Sigh.
__________
Twilight
His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday’s hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface.
My Journal
I want to have sex with Calvin Kole.
Oh yeah, and his skin is sparkly.
__________
Twilight
I sat without moving, more frightened of him than I had ever been. I’d never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultivated facade. He’d never been less human… or more beautiful.
My Journal
Went to hockey game with Beth last night. Calvin Kole scored five points. He is so beautiful. He moves with the liquid grace and freedom of an ice skating bear, and plays with the same ferocity. He spits a lot, too.
*Some names have been changed to protect my pride.
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4 comments:
Having attended high school with "D" and, as ghost writer of her high school journal, I can confirm that these entries do, in fact, predate the Twilight books by a wide margin. Ms. Meyer should be ashamed.
Hello, I am a big-time publisher and I would like to publish your high school journal.
Greetings, I am a bigger-time made-for-TV movie producer and I would like to turn your high school journal into a made-for-TV movie.
Please, I'm the biggest-time I-Phone app producer and I would like to turn your high school journal into an app. Teenagers these days no longer have time to write a diary. Instead, their I-Phone will select names from the address book based upon a complex algorithm factoring in calls, texts, and time spent with a name pulled up in the address book without actually calling it. These names will replace those in your original diary and each day a personalized chronicle of teenage lust and angst will appear.
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