J DARES, I DO: THE RESPONSES

My Alpha Seeks Beta personal ad has caught the eye of a few potential suitors, so I've divided the responses into the following groups.

This Is a Joke
Some of my respondees are clearly underemployed wags who troll Craigslist daily, searching out opportunities to make fun of people and then brag to their friends about it. Which is not at all like what I'm doing. GPFJRI responded with a succinct "NOT !!!!" Note the number of exclamation points. This dude is for realzies. Prodious, on the other hand, took a slightly more subtle route with "great i can feel the life force draining out of me already....how exciting!!" Still a lot of exclamation points.

I Don't Get It
Others were confused by the entire nature of the alpha/beta relationship. Nycmoviefun wrote that he seeks "a woman that might be open to exploring her more aggressive side (but only in private). " WTeff? Public recognition of my superiority is the only reason I placed this ad (uh, excluding the dare.) Let me tell you something privately, Nycmoviefun: you're a misogynistic douche.

But even Nycmoviefun couldn't compare to kiwiguy1049 who sent me his own ad, "Dominant Guy Seeks Submissive Pet." I'm unclear if he was challenging my authority or giving me pointers. This leads nicely into the next group

You're Talking About Sex, Right?
All I'm going to say about this group is, No, I wasn't. And eeewwww.

And finally, there was this guy, from a group I call
I'm Actually Considering This One
"In the past, I have served many needs of the mistress including that of a chauffeur, Personal Groomer (massages, pedicures, manicures), Domestic Home Care Specialist (cleaning, vacuuming, scrubbing, the organization of closets and cooking), Errand Boy (picking up groceries, dry cleaning, laundry and most anything else) and Lawn Boy." Holla!